Helping from the Heart

Hey everybody, I hope this week has been good to you! I had to sit down and write about some thoughts that have been festering. I have had a great week full of challenges and struggles, but by the grace and mercy of God I made it through with my sanity, health and faith in tact. I have not put my faith first in my life always, in fact for a long time I never focused on my faith except when I was in trouble or was in need of a financial blessing. Just recently I re-dedicated my life to the Lord and began making strides to become the person I want to be, instead of the person that everyone else would like. Only then did I begin realizing things that seemed a little clearer now.

At the end of the day, when all else is gone and you still remain, never put your trust in Man because we are all human and are bound to let one another down. But when you put your faith first and trust in the Lord, He will always have your back through good times and bad. He is the most faithful to us and the most forgiving of all.

I am definitely a work in progress because for some reason, knowing this, I still want to put more trust and hope in Man than is reasonable and always sit and wonder afterwards why I am feeling so disappointed if I knew better to begin with. In saying all of this I am saying that sometimes I have been in a house/room full of people/family/friends and felt completely alone. That feeling that no one understands you or, better yet, no one would care. Sometimes it’s difficult to overcome some challenges and struggles without a support group, especially if you are a single parent. Trust me, I understand this much. And nowadays it seems as if some people’s motives for helping others in need has become about them; some only help if they can benefit from it in some way or another. And yes, some of these people are devout Christians that are in church at least 2-6 days of the week, besides Sunday, and proclaim to be closer to God then we will ever be. But my question to those that look for their instant blessings from people that they have helped along with way is whatever happened to helping people from the heart? Does that not exist anymore? Even when my faith has not been the most honorable, I lived by the code “when you help others it comes from your heart; never look for the blessing from those people, just trust that God sees it and will bless you one day in return.” For example, I am the type of person that if I see someone ahead of me in the grocery line that is a few dollars short of their total and is beginning to void out items in order to have enough money, if I have it, I will give that amount of money to them. I am not rich by far, and certainly do not look to walk around giving away my money because I do have mouths to feed at home, but at the same time I see a person that is struggling and in need of assistance like I may be in need of one day. I also trust that God sees that and will return that blessing to me whether it is that day, the next or 5-10 years from then. Do you think I am going to ask that person for their phone number so they can call me when they can pay me back? And that may be an extreme example so let give another. Say a family member is in need of assistance because her and her children needed to abandon their home and leave everything behind due to a domestic violence situation. She never asked for your help but you volunteered your assistance; you bought jackets for the kids and networked to friends to gather some clothes for the family too. The family continues to struggle but finally gets food stamps assistance but still the mother has not found a job yet. You get a blessing that you have been waiting for that allows you to have extra money to go shopping for yourself and splurge a bit, spending endless hours in the mall shopping and treating yourself to things you have longed for over the years. After your blessing is gone and you have enough clothes to never need to go shopping for another few years, you turn to the family member you had helped before and request that she help you get groceries with her food stamps…getting upset when she makes sure you will spend under a certain amount because she plans to spend a little more than normal because her kids are sick and she usually spends more in fruits and veggies trying to restore Vitamin C in the kids immune systems, etc. How is it that there is even a way that you could allow her to feel as if she owed you anything on your terms when you helped her “from your heart”?? These two examples seem to be the way things are done now; you may find a selective few that still do things from their heart and actually do not expect anything back from you unless is an actual loan, but rather they look to God for their blessings…but as I said, there are very few left like that.

So who are these people that preach the word to all, usher in the churches every Sunday, are Holy’er than though, and will get through the gates and into Heaven faster than anyone else? Are these not the same people passing judgments on people and acting as if they have never sinned; are these not human beings that are incapable of perfection, but are indeed flawed just like the rest of us but sit High and Mighty on their thrones as they look down upon everyone else? Would they be considered the hypocrites because they are follows of God and the word but cast judgment for others sins as if they are in a position to do so? Go figure…I don’t know about you but I do not have the patience to deal with people like that so I develop a “tunnel vision”. I cannot see beyond what I want to have in my life; dealing with people that only see the benefits they will receive from situations is taxing on others; so for me, I choose not to deal with any of it.

Even when the devil is busy at work, which is always in my world, you have to remain strong and pray harder. It has seemed to me that the second my faith waivers OR everything is going well and goals, dreams and aspirations are in line with one another – this is the time the devil works harder to break my spirit, however once I recognize this I put my boots on and go through the muddy waters if I have to in order to overcome. Because ‘this too shall pass’. In no way am I calling those that allow themselves to be overcome with selfishness the devil, but yes they have allowed the devil to use them in a way to do his dirty work. Pray for those people and everyone else. I have always been taught to pray for my enemies and those that try to sabotage your spirit, and this is have learned to do more now than ever. Don’t mind me, I am just venting away. I am no perfect angel over here; the Lord knows my story and in time I will share it with you all but for now I am just expressing a thought. Until next time folks…

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